Raising Elementary-Age Kids to Follow Jesus

Parenting elementary-age children is a beautiful, exhausting, joy-filled journey. Between school, sports, friendships, big emotions, and endless questions, many parents find themselves wondering, “Am I doing this right?”

In a recent episode of the Northeast Equipping Podcast, Northeast Kids leaders Lindsay Weber and Jonathan Graham Horn joined the conversation to share practical wisdom for parents navigating discipleship in the elementary years. 

The foundation for the entire discussion came from Psalm 127:

“Unless the Lord builds a house, the work of the builders is wasted.”
“Children are a gift from the Lord; they are a reward from him.”
– Psalm 127:1-3

As Christian parents, our role is not to build perfect children. Our role is to faithfully partner with God, trusting Him to do the work that only He can do.

Big Emotions Are Not Bad Behavior

One of the most relatable topics discussed was helping kids manage big emotions.

Whether it’s a meltdown over a shirt, or something much bigger, Weber reminded parents that emotions themselves are not the problem.

“Our job isn’t to eliminate the emotion, diminish the emotion, or shush the emotion.”

Children are still learning how to process what they feel. Their brains are developing, and many times those emotional outbursts are simply their way of communicating frustration, disappointment, fear, or confusion.

Practical Ways to Help

Instead of immediately correcting the behavior, parents can:

– Name the emotion (“I can see you’re frustrated.”)

– Get on the child’s level physically and emotionally

– Stay calm and regulated 

– Practice deep breathing together

– Pray together in the moment

– Use “time in” instead of always relying on “time out”

“Time in” means sitting with your child through the difficult moment rather than sending them away to process alone. Your presence communicates safety and support.

Perhaps most importantly, parents must model healthy emotional responses themselves. Children learn more from watching us than listening to us.

Don’t Fear the Big Questions

Elementary-aged children are naturally curious. They begin asking questions about God, heaven, suffering, death, other beliefs, and things they hear from friends.

Instead of being intimidated by these questions, parents should welcome them.

“Celebrate the curiosity. Foster it.”

Many parents feel pressure to have all the answers, but both leaders emphasized that it’s okay to say:

“That’s a great question. Let’s learn together.”

Children don’t need parents who know everything. They need parents who are willing to discover the truth alongside them.

Those conversations often become some of the most meaningful discipleship moments in a family’s life.

Remember: You Don’t Need All the Answers

Parents aren’t expected to be theologians.

When difficult questions arise:

– Stay curious

– Open the Bible together

– Pray together

– Ask trusted church leaders

– Model what it looks like to seek God honestly

The goal isn’t having perfect answers. The goal is pointing children consistently toward Jesus.

Setting Healthy Boundaries

Today’s parents face unique challenges with screens, social media, friendships, and outside influences.

Weber encouraged parents to view boundaries as formation rather than punishment.

“Boundaries are there to help develop wisdom and discernment.”

Healthy boundaries help children learn how to make wise decisions long before they’re responsible for making major life choices on their own.

A Few Important Principles

– Clearly communicate family expectations.

– Know who your children’s friends are.

– Pay attention to what influences are shaping them.

– Model the behaviors you hope to see.

– Put your own phone down occasionally.

Children are constantly learning from the adults around them.

As Grabhorn pointed out, the deeper question is:

“What are you allowing to shape your child?”

The answer isn’t isolation. It’s intentional discipleship.

Don’t Isolate Your Children from the World

One of the most important insights from the conversation was the reminder that children should not be completely sheltered from people who believe differently than they do.

As followers of Jesus, our mission is to love others and share the hope of Christ with them.

Children need to learn how to interact with people who think differently while staying rooted in biblical truth.

Rather than creating fear of the outside world, parents can help their children develop wisdom, discernment, compassion, and confidence in their faith.

The Most Important Thing Parents Can Do

When asked what they would encourage every parent to prioritize, both leaders pointed to the same idea:

Make faith a normal part of everyday life.

Discipleship does not primarily happen through grand spiritual moments.

It happens in:

– Car rides

– Bedtime conversations

– Dinner tables

– School drop-off lines

– Family walks

– Everyday routines

Listen to worship music in the car. Talk about what God is teaching you. Ask your children how they can show Jesus to someone at school.

Faith grows when it becomes woven into the ordinary rhythms of life.

“Put God in the middle of ordinary life.”

The Power of Parents Who Follow Jesus

Perhaps the most powerful takeaway from the entire conversation was this:

The greatest gift you can give your children is your own authentic relationship with Jesus.

Children notice whether faith is genuine or merely a Sunday activity.

When parents pray, serve, worship, attend church faithfully, and pursue Jesus sincerely, they create a powerful model for their children to follow.

As Grabhorn reflected on his own story, growing up in church wasn’t just about programs; it was about seeing adults consistently live out their faith.

A Higher Vision for Our Children

Too often, parents settle for wanting their children to become “good people.”

But God’s calling is much bigger than that.

We should pray for children who:

– Love Jesus deeply

– Know God’s Word

– Serve others sacrificially

– Share their faith courageously

– Become leaders who impact the world for Christ

Whether they become doctors, teachers, business leaders, engineers, missionaries, or pastors, our greatest hope should be that they follow Jesus wholeheartedly.

As parents and as a church, we have the privilege of helping raise the next generation of disciples.

And as Psalm 127 reminds us, the burden is not ours to carry alone.

The Lord is building the house.

Our job is to join Him in the work.